red rag

Being back in Germany I face a very wide-spread rejection of and opposition to God's Holy Spirit. Mentioning the simple word "Holy Spirit" in connection with certain experiences is like a red tag to many conservative, but serious, Christians.

What have we become?

How did we as God's chosen people end up reacting to God himself and his power with rejection?

It makes me sad.

The major reason, I believe, are hurts caused by pride and arrogance of those experiencing the Holy Spirit in a different way than others. I can feel this danger myself. My prayer is for humility. "Give me more humility, more of you and less of me. More of you, more of you, Jesus!"

On my behalf I can do nothing but thank God for conquering my unbelief and my rejection and leading me deeper into experiencing his Holy Spirit. Into new ways of experiencing God.

My comment to those running from anything that sounds "charismatic": God wants you to experience more of him. Don't miss out on the fullness of life he has for you.

Do you want more?

scepticism

Looking back to a year at The War College, I can agree with my leaders that I'm a pretty sceptical person, especially relating to spiritual experiences I've never experienced myself or which don't fit into the narrow box of this certain type of Christianity I grew up with.

Although I fully aknowledge that God can use a healthy sense of scepticism to protect me but in most of the cases I have to admit that I missed out.

I missed out on receiving the spiritual gift of seeing in the spirit.
Why? Because I was not sure if I wanted it.
I missed out on the experience of speaking in tongues when it was offered to me.
Why? Because I didn´t want it.

I had to repent. God, please forgive me. Forgive me for not trusting that you want to give good gifts to your children.

I know I missed out on the fullness God had for me at this certain point of time. But I still believe that God is a God who offers second chances.

martyrs

Reading part of the New York Times posted in an Austrian newspaper I read the comment of a native South African Sheik who lectures at a mosque in Vancouver:

"All Muslims, if given the chance, should want to become martyrs."

Not that I agree with any believes of the Islam religion or want to express any favour with Muslim leaders. But this statement could be valid for our faith in Christ:

"All belivers, if given the chance, should want to become martyrs."

Dying for Jesus instead of denying him. If facing this question, I hope, I chose living up to my The War College sessional name, chosing to be a martyr. God, give me grace!

Europe is facing problems coming up with Islam becoming more and more popular in many countries, Muslims requesting more freedom in proclaiming and teaching their believes and Muslim countries applying to be part of the European Union.

If this tendency continues it might finally cause a separation between people merely professing to be Christians and whole-hearted committed believers. Between those chosing to back off their belives when facing opposition and those who finally have to make up their mind if they are willing to die for Christ at all costs.

This, I belive, will plant martyr-like faith in the remnant of believers left that provides the fertile ground for the extension of the kingdom: Persecution as the beginning of church growth. The blood of the martyrs as seeds of the church.

I still don't dare to explicitly pray for this. It may cost my life.

"For me, to live is Christ and to die is gain." - Philipians 1:21

Comments of German readers concerning the situation in Germany are welcome!

grace

There are a couple of things I experienced God has given me special grace for, which means for me, he has made it easy for me to do them so that he can bless me with the benefits of it.

- wearing my Salvation Army uniform (especially since there are countless of soldiers and people interested in soldiership whose major problem is having to wear uniform)
- praying in the 614 Vancouver 24-7 prayer room, "The War Room", from two to five o'clock am
- partnering with one of my session mates for three months of summer assignment who I didn't have a good relationship with before we left together, but during our ministry together we grew up to good accountability and partners in the salvation war
- walking down Main and Hastings during the night among crowds of dealers, prostituted women and drug addicts where people get murdered ever again without fear

God is good!

life lessons

Things I learnt during six years practical application of everything learnt at the War College in Maple Ridge:

- In Jesus there is victory even in seeminly defeat.
- God's Spirit might chose to move and manifest his power independent from my preparation or prayer.
- I still got to learn a lot about time management.
- God knows how to use bad things for my best.
- Those in the front ranks might not be God's main people his builds his kingdom on.
- There is power in prayer when God commands me to pray specificly.
- Without love my walk in righteousness might come across as religious.
- Never underestimate the power of the prayer and encouragement of the saints!
- God answers my prayers for more of his presence and power.
- Doing ministry as a team makes us a testimony to the world by our love for each other.

restoration

I think, all of us have been in the situation of putting up with something totally going into the wrong direction, but not succeeding in changing anything, so that we eventually gave up and just let it slide. That's what happened in our squad.Lack of committment, lack of leadership, lack of openess to each other. And, eventually, the lack of the willingness to change.

Reconciliation and healing of the whole situation was all I desired. But I more and more gave up hoping for it.
We all were guilty, we all felt that we missed out personally and regretted our behaviour. And we all had to repent.

Thank God that he didn't gave up on trying to wake us up. He made us wiling to fight. And he brought us to the point of repentance to each other and to God. The bible says, confessing our sins to each other brings healing. Healing to our unity, to our relationships, and to our hearts.

I believe, today God restored what we allowed Satan to destroy during this year in our squad. And he called us to walk it out. With new openess and a new start of carrying each others burdens and encouragement and prayer for each other.

Thank you, God, for not giving us up!

questionable conversions

"...not only have the salvations been minimal but the quality has discouraged me also. Many of the conversions that we hear about today are queconverted are questionable. We should not only ask if people are saved, but what are they saved to? What are they converted to?
I believe that you are better off to let a person live in sin than to let him have some phony salvation experience, and make him believe that he is a Christian when he is nothing of the kind. So it is no just quantity but quality that we are looking for."

(Cory Harrison after Catherine Booth "Aggressive Christianity)

Could the pressure for high statistics concerning conversions be a reason for half-hearted conversions at our fronts?