calling

Maybe it's the same with you, that the question about calling is just coming up again and again. Conversations with a friend visiting this week helped me a lot to just clarify my understanding about what God has called me to, regardless of the situation and location I'm in.

What is our very first calling in life? Simply, to seek the Lord.

In other words he expressed it this way: To maintain a pure heart before our Lord and to continuously labour for his Kingdom in prayer and deed.

This goes in line with the words of my corps officer: "Being at the very center of God's will more about having a right heart before God than that it is about location."

I know, this doesn't answer specific questions about God's calling on our lives individually, but it helps to get the foundation straight.

When Sunday a new soldier was enrolled in our corps he read the Soldier's covenant to us. Reason enough to remind all Salvation Army soldiers among us of some striking lines in our covenant that God pointed out to me anew.

"I will be faithful to the purposes for which God raised up The Salvation Army, sharing the good news of Jesus Christ, endeavouring to win others to Him. "
When a friend of mine got enrolled three years ago he always stated that he is entering the Army for what God has called her to be, and not for what it might be right now. A statement which helps me to be faithful even if reality sometimes might be disappointing.

"I am convinced that the love of Christ, who died and now lives to save me, requires from me this devotion of my life to His service for the salvation of the whole world. " - Reason enough to be in the Army, isn't it?

I found it helpful to be lead to go through my covenant again to reshape my inner picture of what it means to be a soldier. The picture our corps or other soldiers might give sometimes so differ from what we agreed to in our covenant. But that is what we signed up for. And I again found it worth it, that I did.

By the grace of God I will be faithfully living up to that!

a year's review - 2006

When I published the first entry after taking up blogging again I was asked to give my personal year's review of this passed year which I spent ministering with my home corps in Hamburg/Germany.
Here it is.

2006 was a year which not at all turned out to be the way I had expected it to be like.

For me the year 2006 was
a year of tears
but also
a year of a new experience of intimate prayer.
It was
a year of God's renewed grace every single day
A year of God's faithfulness despite of my failure.
A year of learning that God's ways are different to mine.
A year of deep community with God in my loneliness and desperation.
A year of God helping me to fulfill my responsibilities.

In the beginning of the year God gave me this verse which carried me through all of this: Romans 4:21: "God has power to do what he had promised."

Most of the time I had the impression that he simply didn't want to give to me what I was aksing for. Looking back I question which of that were mistakes I didn't need to go through. One thing I'm convinced of is that this was THE ONLY WAY God could lead me to teach me his lessons and to transform my heart to beat more unisono with his.

When the new year 2007 started God miraculously ended the pain and led me to find new freedom by challenging me to submit under his will without my understanding. This set me free to walk on.

The War College graduate

Sorry, this may sound a bit like self-promotion, but for anyone interested, there is my testimony as a War College graduate of the Martyrs session in the internet.

Glory to God!

Jugend betet für Hamburg

Anfang Januar bin ich durch die Jugendveranstaltung der Allianz-Gebetswoche auf eine ziemlich coole in Hamburg laufende Aktion gestoßen, die sich "Jugend betet für Hamburg" nennt. Wenn man so will, ein relativ normaler, wöchentlicher Gebetabend von Jugendlichen, für Jugendliche.

So unglaublich es scheinen mag, treffen sich dort jede Woche an die 20 bis 30 Teens und Twens einfach um Gott anzubeten und für Anliegen und Gottes Reich in unserer Stadt zu beten.

Auf jeden Fall finde ich diese Tatsache unendlich beschämend, wenn ich auf unseren Gebetskreis blicke, der mit ziemlicher Sicherheit ein Bild für den durchschnittlichen Gebetskreis einer Gemeinde darstellt, wo sich fünf bis zehn Leute bemühen, dranzubleiben und sich nicht entmutigen zu lassen.

Da sage noch mal einer, von den Jugendlichen könne man nichts lernen.

Und auch wenn das in Hamburg ist - eine super Idee, die wirklich zu funktionieren scheint. Und, die auch wirklich Potential zu haben scheint, Veränderung zu bringen. Das schließe ich daraus, dass ich jedes einzelne Mal unheimlich kämpfen musste, die Entscheidung dafür zu treffen. Also muss ja irgendwas dahinterstecken, wenn es dem Teufel ein Anliegen ist, mich davon abzuhalten!

This is my God!

I hope this is not devaluating God, but sometimes he is simply nice!

For weeks I have been fighting lack of motivation in the mornings, I'm jobless and it simply seems easier to fill part of the day sleeping than finding some meaningful things to do.

But God pointed out to me that a holy life is different to that. In addition to that he again and again tried to motivate to get up simply to spend time with him.

Thank God, he doesn't leave me alone in this struggle.

Listen to what happened yesterday morning:

7:30 am: The phone next to my bed rings (there is the corps office in my appartment)

A ladies voice is asking whether she can donate some furniture.

Normally I would be quiet angry about that, but I know for sure - she simply had to call because God made her to.

Thank you, Jesus!